Talking to your kids about drugs….not as bad as you think

Nobody Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy.

Okay, if you want to keep me from sleeping…for, like a week…all you have to do is talk to me about my kids experimenting with (and God forbid becoming addicted to) drugs.

Knowing the incredible hold drugs can have on so many people fills me with dread. What may start out as “just a good time” can spiral into a lifelong battle. This could be every parent’s WORST nightmare.

Obviously, we can’t control everything our kids do. Nor do we want to. At some point we have to let them go. We have to pray that all of the things we have taught them, somehow, sinks in and they will make informed and smart decisions.

Here are some things to think about:

1) Believe it or not, YOU are the most important Role Model in your kid’s lives. Not LeBron. Not The Rock. Not Billie Eilish. It’s you! Your views on Alcohol, Smoking & Drugs will STRONGLY influence they way your kids view those subjects. These topics should not be taboo. They really should be part of your typical conversations about general health and safety.

2) Most likely you are already laying the groundwork (without even realizing it). How do you explain “taking medicine” to your kids? Do you tell them that “We only take medicine when we need it.” Do you tell them why they are taking the medicine? Do you explain to them, “The more we take medicine, the less it will work.”? The more we explain these things to them, the more of a “Foundation of Understanding” we are giving them about drugs in general.

3) As our kids get older, you can even initiate a conversation about drugs. You can ask them, “What do you think about drugs?” Make it a completely innocent question. Don’t lead them in any direction. The better the relationship you have with your child, the more likely they are willing to open up to you.

When kids don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents, they WILL seek out the information elsewhere. This will only lead to misconceptions as to the consequences of drug use.

Now, if you start this conversation you better be willing to LISTEN to them. Leave your phone in the other room. Be engaged in what they have to say. Show them the respect you would expect to receive.

The better the relationship you have with your child, the more likely they are willing to open up to you.

When kids don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents, they WILL seek out the information elsewhere.

4) If they take the time to ASK YOU about drugs consider yourself blessed (especially coming from a pre-teen or teen). This means they still trust you! Nice Job!

Be ready to speak openly about the pitfalls of drug and alcohol use. Use tact! As you may already know, kids have a “bullshit radar” that is more advance than anything the U.S. Navy has in its arsenal. The moment they feel you are trying to scare them, they will most likely check out.

But, we still need to let them know the possible ramifications of even recreational use. Let them know the legal issues involved…including possible jail time. Let them know about the possibilities of serious physical injury and/or death.

5) Here is the biggest thing to look for: Keep an eye out for self-destructive or self-defeating behavior.

Let’s define these two behaviors.

Self-Destructive Behavior is defined as: When you do something that’s sure to cause self-harm, whether it’s emotional or physical.

There are the obvious examples of self-destructive behaviors such as; suicide attempts, binge eating, compulsive gambling, risky sexual behavior & obviously abusing drugs and alcohol.

Self-Defeating Behavior is defined as: Behaviors that move you away from the goals that you have set for yourself.

There are more subtle forms of self-sabotage (or self-defeating behavior), and these should be red flags for all Dads to keep an eye on. These include; being self-derogatory, insisting you’re not smart, capable, or attractive enough. Changing yourself to please others. Clinging to someone who is not interested in you. Engaging in alienating or aggressive behavior that pushes people away. Wallowing in self-pity. If you see any of these behaviors you should immediately ask for professional help.

6) I hate to break it to you, but IT IS OUR JOB to lay the foundation for a healthy life with our kids. That means, BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL! That means avoid the “do as I say, not as I do” lifestyle. I’m not saying you need to be a Saint, but we have got to have the awareness of how our actions will impact our children (and their futures).

So to wrap it all up with a nice little bow:

You are the first person they look to. Be a good Role Model.

Speak to them about the consequences of drug and alcohol abuse.

Listen when they speak to you.

Keep an eye out for self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors.

Do your very best Dad.