Phubbing

Nobody Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy.

I learn something new everyday. (Plus, I’m old so….this newfangled lingo is strange to me.) Here’s a new one.

Phubbing: The practice of ignoring one's companion or companions in order to pay attention to one's phone or other mobile device.

I would have just called it “being rude” but apparently there is different terminology.

How many of you have experienced this scenario:

You’re at home. Dinner is on the table. Mommy starts yelling “It’s time for dinner! Sit down!” We all sit down to eat and…Mommy breaks out her phone and starts going through emails, checking Instagram, responding to texts. You start thinking…”Why the hell are you yelling at us when your not even here?”

The scenario my differ in your household. But how often does this basic scene play out?

But, let’s also not paint ourselves as Saints. I’m sure you do it too (though I hope not).

Why do we “phub?”

There are a few reasons why.

1) First off, we have become a society addicted to entertainment. Think about it. How many cell phone carriers offer “Free Disney +” when you sign up for “Unlimited data!”

2) Also think about Social Media. Social Media usage is up over 10% than in 2019 (the numbers for 2021 are not out yet). In 2015 2.07 billion people were active on Social Media. Today there are over 3.97 billion people active on Social Media. That is an increase of over 92 % in five years. And the Social Media companies know what they are doing. They know how to get you addicted to their products.

3) There is a need to “detach” from stresses of the day. Think about it. When you are scrolling through your Twitter feed are you really thinking about the things that stressed you out during the day? When you are sending “one line texts” to your friends, are you focusing on your partner’s problems? No. So, there is the desire to shut things off for a while.

The problem is when it is done at someone else’s expense.

Have you been out to lunch with a friend, you’re pouring your heart out over a problem in your marriage, and your friend’s phone rings. They pick it up. They return a text. They put the “other person” first. How does that make you feel? Probably, pretty upset…pissed even.

Here’s a couple of ways to mitigate these interruptions.

1) (The easiest one) TURN OFF YOUR PHONE when you are with your friend at lunch, your family at dinner, your Mom at the pool.

2) Make the family table an “electronics free” zone. No phones, no tablets, no T.V.

3) Carve out time to truly “BE” with your significant other, your friends, your kids. AND, ask them to do the same.

4) Don’t be afraid to say something. If you feel dismissed, or overlooked because the person you are with is more interested in their phone -SAY SOMETHING! Honestly, unless it is your boss, bring it to their attention. Odds are they don’t even know they are doing it.

Don’t be a Phubber

Don’t get Phubbed.